US Solicits Kids to Hack China and Defend Threats

chinese hackers

THE USA really needs hackers.  They’ve been going after kids (and adults) to work for us for a long time now.  The Department of Homeland security is recruiting hard core at local high schools, yea that’s right – high schools.

In case you don’t watch the news (most of us don’t) China is waging war on the US, and it isn’t a bomb or a nuke – its a keyboard.  There are now 1000’s of growing threats of a cyberstrike to the US homeland.  To combat this, they will need hundreds or 1000s of high school to college aged kids to counter the number of daily incursions that threaten our electrical grid, as well as government and private sector financial networks.

The Dept. of Homeland Security needs almost 1000 kids to join their team, according to what they are saying.  They are having a really hard time doing this because most kids this young who are hackers do not want to be part of the government, they want to overthrow it (or hack it).  The hacker community thinks much differently than most, and are generally anti corporation, and some not-pro government. Didn’t want to say “anti.”

SO I ask a question: if there are anti-govenment kids in America, why not go after the anti-government kids in China?  Offer total citizenship to anyone who joins forces with us, provided they are under supervision, and pick from the best!

The plan for the DHS is to show kids how cool it can be.  VICE magazine said in a recent article, “if they can teach kids how to fly planes into the middle of the desert, I’m sure we can teach kids to sit behind a keyboard.”

And that is exactly what the DHS plans to do: show kids how cool hacking can be.  The problem is that most kids get recruited by private firms or corporations.

And of course what is cooler than a hacking video game!

The DHS is developing a system with names such as “Cyber Cup Challenge” to make things like password decryption sound awesome.  Kids will be given the ability to step up to the plate, and earn their space as a government employee as a career.  DHS needs to make it cool.  They need to pay 300k salaries and up, to start.  Top hackers are making that and much more, because they are the only people that can truly leverage the power of network systems, write bots, and know the principles of complex DDOS attacks.

homeland security hacker recruitment

“You recruited me right out of high school”

Anyone remember the scene in Zero Dark Thirty where Maya meets the head of the CIA or whatever and he asks her when she was recruited.  “RIGHT out of high school, she answered.”

One can only wonder if this was ad placement for the DHS.

I am an Airforce Veteran and I worked in IT.  I remember most of the stuff I did was rather beneath me (creating accounts for new enlistee’s) and wanting to do higher level stuff.  I’ve been hacking since I was a kid, and if they gave me the chance – or responded to any of my requests I would be in a much different place right now.  There needs to be a better system for selecting talent in the US armed forces.  They do it with the Navy Seals and Green Berets, why not do it for hackers?

Any of you kids out there reading this remember this: it might seem cool to be anti government, but how cool will it be when China flies over here and invades your town?  They will take away all of your computers and you will be working in a garment factory or shining the shoes of Chinese leaders.  Or worse you will be forced to hack Russia, so China can take them over 🙂

God bless ‘Merica

Derrick Legend

Derrick is a serious gamer, blogger, and is kind of a big deal on 4chan. When he’s not blogging for SGR he is riding dirt bikes and going to school. Derrick’s favorite games are Call of Duty, Crysis 3, and Metal Gear Rising (he’s also a huge classic NES buff).

Derrick Legend

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